Thoughts on Christmas Night

December 26, 2011 Melissa Grantham

I’m sitting here with my hot chocolate, winding down another Christmas day. Eric is watching his new Transformers movie, and Carson is sleeping soundly. I’m practicing my ritual of listening to all my favorite sentimental Christmas songs before going to bed. This Christmas vacation has brought a particular thought to my mind often-time.

Remember when you were a kid, and it seemed like FOREVER to wait for Christmas to arrive? And you would roll your eyes when your parents talked about how fast time goes by. Then you get older, and that quick passing of time makes you realize that (gulp) your parents were right about something else. I still can’t believe this was Carson’s third Christmas. It brought me so much happiness this year, watching him really understand the holiday. He helped my Christmas regain a bit of that old magic.

I always get sad on Christmas night. But this year seems to be a bit worse. LIving so far from my hometown had been particularly difficult as of late. I not only miss my family, but my friends as well. Yes, I’ve made friends in my new home, but it’s not the same. So seeing old friends is a rather bittersweet situation. My first tearful moment was a church last Sunday. Seeing Rachel, and others, and hearing Jon speak was so wonderful, but the extreme high was followed by an extreme low, because I don’t know when it will happen again. And coffee with Nicole is such a treasured pastime, that I can’t sit in Panera alone without missing her.

Having lunch with B was another high/low situation. Out of all my friends, I dare say there’s only about four people that know me to my core. And B is one of them. To only see a friend like that once a year (or less, as it is with Melinda) is rather depressing. I was actually moved to tears from laughter that day, which turned into tears from sadness, because I hadn’t laughed like that with a friend in such a long time. I don’t want you to think that I feel like my friends are all I have, or to devalue my husband and family. Eric and Carson are the reason I live and breathe each day. Yet friendships are also a vital part of all our lives. And to find friends that you trust enough to take down all your walls and be exposed, friends who don’t need you to be anything but what you are, is a rare and precious thing indeed.

And I don’t care to think about how long it may be before I see my parents again. I know it’s a part of life; you grow up, you move away. But I never lived more that 10 miles from my parents until I was 29. I became a bit attached. It happens.

Well, the clock just struck midnight. Christmas day is over. Eric just turned to me and wished me a Happy day. Another year older. Another reminder of time. Merry Christmas to you all. Make sure you make the most of the fleeting time with family and friends, always. X